God's Chosen One!

Sukhmani was born in a very simple sikh close knit family. Before her, Sukhmani 's parents were blessed with another daughter who is 2 years elder to her. Sukhmani was born weak and fragile where the doctors made all possible efforts to keep her live. She had nice sharp features but there was more than that which guided her future.... She had dark complexion...

Sukhmani was loved and pampered like any other child and her parents were always very proud of her. As she was growing u, she came across many people, most of them who called her " Kaali Bili" ( Black Cat) , Skinny girl etc. She was at the impressionable age and these constant remarks creaped in her the inferiority complex. Sukhmani 's father used to call her sweetheart, a girl with a golden heart but that always proved weak in front of the remarks that she heard each time she stepped out of her house. Sukhmani was considered a misfit...

It was a fine Sunday morning and the family was invited for a family function. Sukhmani was 12 then. She choose the best dress from her closet and was happy to see herself looking nice. She enjoyed her day with cousins but never gathered the courage to see herself in the same mirror as her cousins or others. The day went fine but there was something waiting for her. Her aunt who had not met her for years came and as a matter of fact remarked: Yeh Kaali Billi aap key ghar kaisey paida ho gai" (How come his black cat got birth in your family? Is this blacky your daughter?) Sukhmani 's parents were angry but helpless. Was snapping back the solution? They were proud of Sukhmani and with head high said “YES”. But this incidence got a very negative effect on that little girl. She sobbed the entire night and the cup of sorrow kept overflowing with each passing day.

Sukhmani was a fighter. She called her smile , her strength. Sukhmani was an average student but always a very hard worker. She was recognized as butterfly by some of her teachers. But the attitude, with which her fellow students treated her, pulled her down... She started remaining sick. She wanted to avoid going to school. She became irritated and took solace in running from the situation. She changed schools in hope of being accepted. But that was not the correct path. The frequent change of schools brought her down academically. Sukhmani had turned 19. She saw her friends enjoying the company of boys and she was the left one out. She did not discuss it with her parents and this complex of not being a part of the group kept growing stronger....

But one fine day life looked down at this girl and smiled! Sukhmani got through journalism honors in College and studied very hard and stood 3rd in the college. She had a reason to smile and laugh. She laughed a lot.... Danced a lot..... Painted a lot...... She looked in the eye of the other person and lived those 4 years.

Sukhmani was growing with each passing day. She had turned 23. She got herself a decent job which played a major role in bringing back the lost confidence. Sukhmani believed that she has to hold her head high to the positive attitude which her parents / her job gave her.

Sumeet was Sukhmani 's junior in school but they were never friends. She met Sumeet after 12 years at her work place. He recognized her and they started talking. Sumeet always respected Sukhmani and often used to compliment her about the way she carried herself off and spoke to other. As time passed, Sukhmani and Sumeet talked about exploring their lives together. It was a relation where more than anything else it was respect for one another. They were happy.

That evening Sumeet called up Sukhmani saying that he was feeling low and Sukhmani should not go out of station for her work assignment. They spoke for an hour that evening and as this assignments could not be postponed, Sukhmani left Delhi by the morning flight for a week.

It was 18th May 8:30 am. Sukhmani was sleeping when she received a call on her mobile. It showed ‘Sumeet Calling’. To her surprise there was this strange voice from the other end and a lot of crying and noise in the background. This person asked Sukhmani if she knows Sumeet? 'Yes, Sumeet is my buddy. What happened? Where is he? Who are you? Sukhmani asked this stranger! The stranger in a panicked voice responded" Please come and inform his family. This young boy has met with a serious accident and we are taking him to the hospital. Sukhmani was shocked. She was far off. She did not know what to do. She wanted to keep talking to this stranger about Sumeet. But he disconnected the call. Sukhmani knew that things were very serious. She called up sumeets parents and informed them about the accident. She told them that nothing was serious and that they should reach the hospital soon.

Sukhmani was shattered. She could not return immediately. Sumeet was serious. Sukhmani asked her parents to keep her informed of Sumeet's state. Sumeet did not survive that accident....

Sukhmani did not speak to anyone nor did she react to anything. She choose to hide herself from the world. She was QUITE.

Year passed and her parents along with Sumeet's wanted to see Sukhmani married. Sukhmani was married. She decided to move on. Sukhmani believed that when one expects a lot and when things don’t turn the way one wants them to, that leads to pain , but at the same time when one does not expect anything from life, that makes us no less than an insensitive hard hearted person... So not expecting much from life but accepting a reasonable person who marries her not because he needs/has to marry but because he wants to marry and believes in the beauty and responsibility of this relation, she said Yes. She wanted a person who understands what goes to cultivate this relation and who could work along with her to grow this relation with each day in a stronger bond. Yes Sukhmani was prepared to dream with open eyes for a nice family, for her marriage was a very sacred thing and she believed that whatever may come, she has to give herself completely to live this new relation she is entering.

Was this the beginning of a happy start for Sukhmani?

The family Sukhmani got married in, had portrayed false picture to them. Sukhmani soon realized what was in stored for her. But her hope and belief that nothing worse can happen to her now did not let her talk about the facts to her parents. Sukhmani was beaten up for the first time by her husband when one day (after 1 week) of her marriage she was asked to get the car for them. And then this beating had no end to it. Was hit / kicked by everyone on her tummy and slapping was considered very normal to them. Her married life started unfolding. Her husband started demanding materialistic things from her. Sukhmani 's parents had arranged the wedding beyond their capability to see their daughter happy. Sukhmani could not ask for more. She accepted her fate. She feared being thrown out. She feared the word Divorced....

Sukhmani gave all her earnings in the name of her husband. She bought a car if that could save the marriage. That was the suicidal mistake Sukhmani did. Her fear/her complex made her so weak that she took all the humiliation in the hands of her husband. Sukhmani was confined to one room where she was beaten up and was allowed to leave that room to go to kitchen for cooking and to go to the washroom. (literally) .

Yes Sukhmani was God's Chosen one. She knew what life means to her. What destiny is! Had it been an imagination of a writer, he would have ended his story with "Sukhmani committing suicide" but this is Sukhmani 's life and she believed in walking again after each fall ;though crippled!

Sukhmani was pregnant. She was happy. She felt that heartbeat inside. Her baby was there in this world breathing in her. She had a reason to smile. Sukhmani was kicked on, beaten up with rods. Her in-laws never wanted her. They wanted to get her husband married to someone else. They had got what they wanted from this marriage. But Sukhmani never left the hand of HOPE.

She was 1 month pregnant when she felt severe pain and on requesting to take her to the doctors, was not paid attention to. She was not allowed to talk to her parents either. She was allowed to talk to them in the presence of her in-laws so that she could not tell them anything.

September 29th 2005. That night was very difficult. Sukhmani was grieving with pain. She fainted and revived many times that night and was finally taken to the hospital the next morning. Sukhmani was half conscious. She was being wheeled in the operation theater. The child had died sometime last night and Sukhmani suffered ectopic pregnancy. The doctors told her parents and her husband that they cannot guarantee anything. They cannot say if Sukhmani will come out live. The operation lasted some hours and Sukhmani was saved but the doctors had to remove one of her fallopian tubes. She was poisoned.

The hope ripped to peaces. She wanted to see her husband. The same man who never loved her. He left her and went abroad. Sukhmani was brought back home by her parents who came to know about the whole reality than. Sukhmani was in depression. She never spoke again. Her eyes were dried of tears. She was taken to all possible doctors, all Gurudwaras’ everywhere. She wanted to hold on that marriage. She had lost all her self esteem, her balance. Her parents could not see their daughter dying. The doctors recommended that she should be allowed to go to the house of her husband when he returns and warn them not to touch her.

Police, dowry case, jail...these words never crossed Sukhmani 's mind. Her parents wanted to complain but Sukhmani never supported this thought. She was clinging on to the dead relation. She went back and that was her last day in her in-laws house. Sukhmani 's hands were tied up and she was being dragged to the kitchen to be burnt alive. Where was GOD? She fainted and opened her eyes next morning to see herself in a small room of hospital.

She did not remember what happened to her. She was crying Mummy Papa! Her parents were not in Delhi. Sukhmani did not remember any phone number any name. She was in pain. Yes Sukhmani was to live. Her parents were contacted and she was brought home. Sukhmani was very serious. She was in I.C.U .

She had lost the hold on life. She was left way back. 14 months! She did not know when it was morning and when night. For her it was vacuum. She could see tears in her parents eyes and she remembered relatives visiting her house. She was taken to Reiki classes, meditation classes... but nothing worked.

Remember Sukhmani was God's chosen one! She stood back. She knew that it would not be easy for her but she gathered the courage to stand again. It was difficult but she did get a job.
But did she had a choice? No! Life says live, but why can life not be slightly easy?.... Why does life ( That Power) spots her out and pulls her down and asks her to stand yet again .... But Sukhmani is TIRED Now. Sukhmani does not want to be
" GOD'S CHOSEN ONE"

STRANGER!!

Dead End , Freezing Air,
I am walking down all alone...
I feel like sharing my fear my pain,
with a person --- STRANGE.....